The Will of Love
by E. Limberg
Summary: Moments in Mac and Stella's relationship. Each chapter to a different song.
1. Slow Motion

**The Will of Love**

**Chapter 1: Slow Motion**

"_I've got a crack in my windshield_

_I know exactly how it feels_

_It's coming apart the hard way_

_It gets a little more shattered each day"_

Mac Taylor's heart broke that September day when the towers fell with his wife inside. They were in the same city, not that far apart, and he could do nothing to save her. Even if he could have reached Claire, Mac probably wouldn't have made it out in time. It took all Stella's strength to keep him in his office and not let him go out to save her. Each day it got harder for Mac to live and eventually he just lost it. Mac went to Stella's late one night and finally cried for his wife. As usual, Stella was there for him.

"_Oh oh oh, I'm breaking slow motion  
Oh oh oh, how did it hit me so fast  
It hurts so bad, it hurts so bad  
Somebody tell me how long it will last  
'Cause oh oh oh, I'm breaking in slow motion"_

"Stel, how long is this going to last? I can't sleep or anything," Mac asked Stella as he hugged her tightly one night at her apartment. She had insisted he come over and let her cook him dinner a year after Claire's death.

"I don't know, Mac. You should at least try to get some sleep," Stella said gently pulling away.

"I can't sleep; all I see is Claire in the towers," Mac said holding her tighter. "Get some sleep, Stel; I'll stay here with you unless you don't want me to."

"No, I don't mind," Stella smiled inwardly to herself. She had always loved Mac and was jealous when he married Claire. Still, she was really worried about him.

While she goes to get ready for bed Mac makes himself a bed on the couch, thinking she would be uncomfortable if he slept in bed with her. "Are you seriously going to sleep on the couch, Mac?" He turns to find the brunette leaning against her bedroom doorway watching him.

"Yeah, where do you want me to sleep?" he asks watching her intently. She walks over to him and grabs his arm.

"In here with me," Stella drags him to the bedroom and climbs into her bed. When he doesn't follow, she pats beside her. "C'mon, Mac. You're the one who wanted to stay." Realizing she was right, Mac climbs in next to her. Soon he was fast asleep, and he didn't have his usual nightmare.

"_Feels like I'm frozen in a dream  
I can't run, can't even scream  
I'm trying to fight but I can't get my fist up  
How does somebody get so messed up"_

Stella was in his office again, bugging him about getting over Claire's death. He had wanted to scream at her but couldn't after all she has done for him. If she didn't leave soon, he might find his courage and give her something more to worry about.

"Stel, leave now."

"No, what are you going to do if I don't?"

"Leave or you're fired."

"You wouldn't fire me. And even if you did, I'd still come and check on you. Firing me would only make your job harder. But that's what you want, isn't it?"

"What are you talking about, Stella?"

"You want to bury yourself in work because you are trying to forget your wife. More time here at work means less time for you to sit at home alone and think about her."

"Stel, my life has been a mess since she died. I'm still not over her. Just leave me alone," Mac suddenly had the urge to punch her.

The chief stood outside Mac's office watching them. Seeing Mac make his hands into fist, he decided he should stop this fight. "What's going on in here?"

"Nothing. Stella was just about to leave."

"I was not. We are not through here, Mac," and with that she storms off. The chief was glad to see her leave, which was quite unusual, not hurt, although he still did not particularly care for her. He gives Mac a warning look and leaves him standing there. All he can think about is what Stella had said.

"_Let go, let go  
Why can't I make myself do it  
I don't know  
Oh..."_

'_Why can't I let Claire go? She is dead and there's nothing I can do about it,' _Mac thinks as he lays on the couch later that evening. _'Because I love her,'_ he answers himself.

A knock on the door wakes him from his thoughts. He opens the door to find Stella. She throws herself into his arms, "I'm sorry, Mac. I know you love her a lot."

Mac shut the door with her still clinging to his neck. Suddenly he hears a quiet sob. _'Was Stella crying? She never cries.' _When she lets go he sees that she does have tears in her eyes.

Although he knows it will take a while to get over Claire, Mac has found someone to help him. Stella has been and will always be there for him.

"_Oh oh oh, I'm breaking slow motion  
Oh oh oh, how did it hit me so fast  
It hurts so bad, it hurts so bad  
Somebody tell me how long it will last  
'Cause oh oh oh, I'm breaking in slow motion"_

_  
_**A/N: The song is "Slow Motion" by Big and Rich. Please Review. I already have the whole story written and I will try to type it as soon as I can. Thanks.**


	2. Somebody

**Chapter 2: Somebody**

"_At a diner down on Broadway they make small talk_

_When she brings his eggs and fills his coffee cup_

_He jokes about his love life_

_And tells her he's 'bout ready to give up_

_That's when she says,"I've been there before_

_But keep on lookin' 'cause maybe who you're lookin' for is..._

_Somebody in the next car_

_Somebody on the morning train_

_Somebody in the coffee shop_

_That you walk right by everyday_

_Somebody that you look at_

_But never really see_

_Somewhere out there is somebody"_

Stella sat alone in her favorite little Greek restaurant talking to the waiter. "I really don't know. Vic loves me but I guess I just don't feel the same way about him. I'm about to give up on trying to find someone."

"Aw, Stel, don't give up. You'll find someone someday who loves you and who you love that isn't going to harm you. You need someone who can get past the strong you and into the real you. Maybe you've already met this person and just don't know it yet," the waiter says.

"Thanks for your help," Stella says and hands him the money to pay for her meal.

"_Across town in a crowded elevator_

_He can't forget the things that waitress said_

_He usually reads the paper_

_But today he reads a stranger's face instead_

_It's that blue-eyed girl from two floors up_

_Maybe she's the one maybe he could fall in love with_

_Somebody in the next car_

_Somebody on the morning train_

_Somebody in the coffee shop_

_That you walk right by everyday_

_Somebody that you look at_

_But never really see_

_Somewhere out there is somebody"_

"Mac, I'm heading out. Don't stay to long," Stella says before she turns to leave.

"Where are you going?" Mac looks up from his paperwork.

"To breakup with my boyfriend," Stella turns back. "Why?"

"Oh, well good luck with that," Mac has an expression in his eyes that Stella has seen only once before. It stays for only a second, and Stella finds herself seeing him differently.

"You want to go grab something to drink tomorrow after work?"

"Sure, see you tomorrow then I guess."

"_Now they laugh about the moment that it happened_

_A moment they'd both missed until that day_

_When he saw his future in her eyes_

_Instead of just another friendly face_

_And he wonders why he searched so long_

_When she was always there at that diner waiting on_

_Somebody in the next car_

_Somebody on the morning train_

_Somebody in the coffee shop_

_That you walk right on by everyday_

_Somebody that you look at_

_But never really see_

_Somewhere out there is somebody"_

Stella sat on her couch watching reruns of Law and Order, picking out all the flaws while eating ice cream out of the container when her cell phone rang. Seeing Mac's number instead of her ex-boyfriend's she answers, "Hey, Mac, you need me to come in?"

"No, are you at home?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just wondering if I could come over for a while. What are you doing?"

"Eating a pint of ice cream and watching tv. Come on over and join me."

"Did your boyfriend take the news that badly?"

"No, now get over here so we can talk in person."

**---CSI: NY---**

"So," Mac says when he arrives, making her jump because she didn't hear the door open. "Why are you eating all that ice cream?"

"Because I am thirty-six and have no husband or kids, and right now not even a boyfriend. I think there's another pint in the freezer if you want it."

Mac moves in front of the tv so she can't see and takes the container from her. "If you're sitting alone in your apartment, you're not going to meet any one, are you?"

All of a sudden she remembers what the waiter told her: Maybe she already knew her someone and just didn't know it yet. She realizes that Mac was her someone, but he is still grieving is wife. _'Well, I've been there for him before and I'll be there for him now,'_ she thinks. Thinking back to earlier and the unreadable look in his eyes, she identifies it now as the beginning of love. On an impulse she stands up and kisses his cheek softly and waits for his reaction. He responds by kissing her lips gently, not pressuring her if her kiss was not what he thought it was. And as she stood there kissing Mac, Stella knew she had found her "Somebody."

"_Somebody that you look at_

_But never really see_

_Somewhere out there is somebody"_

**A/N: "Somebody" by Reba McEntire. I know the song is about a guy who meets a waitress and feels the same way Stella does. And he falls in love with someone he knew and had become friends with. The story wouldn't have worked from Mac's POV so I decided to use Stella 'cause I think she kinda does feel this way. Please read and review. I'm typing as fast as I can. **


	3. Then I Did

**Chapter 3: Then I Did**

"_I thought about calling you when I got off the plane  
Every time I see this city through the clouds I get that way  
Call me crazy for missing you like this but I do  
By now I figured you had all your numbers changed  
It's been at least a year since I called you up to say  
We need to talk I got this job and I think I'm going to take it"_

Mac got off the airplane and immediately wondered where Stella would be. At the lab maybe, considering all the paperwork she now had to do in his former supervisor position. He was still shocked that the chief had appointed her to fill his position with all the marks on her record. Who knew, maybe after three months Stella didn't even want to see him. Mac never knew how much he loved Stella until he took the job in Chicago and left her in New York. By now Stella might have a boyfriend, but he just had to see her. Mac hailed a cab and decided the lab would be the best place to look for her. And even if she wasn't there he could talk to the chief about getting his job back.

"_I can see clear to the mountains as I head up our old street  
I remember how we'd call in sick on days like these  
And turn the music up roll the windows down and just drive  
You talked me outta givin' up on myself so many times  
Convinced me to get in while I could regrets hang heavy on the mind  
But you never doubted me you kept pushing me"_

After everything Stella had done for him, Mac had left her. He remembers now that Stella had saved his life even when he wanted to end it shortly after Claire's death:

"Mac, I know you're in there. Open the door or I'll break it down," Stella had been knocking on his door for the past five minutes. Mac just sat on the couch with a knife in his hand and tried to ignore her. "Mac, please, let me in." Mac made no move to let her inside, but just continued to stare at the knife.

Outside, Stella had grown very impatient with him and was afraid something had happened to him. She decided to go look in the back door for a sign of him inside. When she saw him sitting on the couch with the knife in his hand, just above the wrist, she paniced, afraid of losing her best friend and threw all her weight against the door, willing it to open before did something to hurt himself.

"Mac, stop," he hadn't looked at her yet but finally did when she spoke, mot making eye contact with her. "Give me the knife," Stella held out her hand and takes a few steps closer to him. He made no move to give her the weapon, but instead moved it the other way, and it made contact with his wrist.

"Mac, don't do this to yourself. You will make it through this, and I'm here to help you. Just give me the knife," Stella has tears in her eyes as blood appeared on his arm. Her legs instinctively took her to him. Mac moved the knife so it scratched her hand, but she got it away from him. Stella got her phone out and called Hawkes for help. While he was on his way, Stella hugged Mac tightly to her. "Why did you do it, Mac?"

"I miss her, Stel. I can't live without her," Mac said as he tried to keep the blood from leaving his body.

"We're all here for you, Mac. Don't give up. Claire wouldn't want you to."

"Stella, why did you stop me?"

"Mac, you're my best friend. I can't lose you. I love you, Mac," Stella gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Soon after that Hawkes arrived. Mac and Stella both got a few stitches, and Stella never let Mac out of her sight for the next month.

**---CSI: NY---**

'_Stel was right. She never gave up on me; the only thing I regret is leaving her. Now I realize, though, that I love her,' _Mac thinks as he walks into her office.

"_Saying you've been waiting all your life for a break like this  
It's your chance of a lifetime you just know it is  
You gotta go find those dreams  
Was the last thing that you said  
And then I did_

But you were wrong  
Love was what I wanted all along  
And now you're gone"

"Mac, what are you doing here?" Stella asks when he opened the door to her office.

"I decided that I belonged here in New York. I always wanted to work in Chicago, but after being here for so long I couldn't move. And I forgot how annoying parents could be," he says walking around the desk to hug her. She was still not used to being hugged, and stood stiffly with his arms around her. "And there is another reason.'

"And what would that be Detective Taylor?"

"You. I discovered that I love you while away," Mac's eyes twinkle when she kisses. "Do you think I could get my job back?"

"Please take it back. I guess you weren't lying to me when you always said you had to do paperwork. But I suggest you don't mention me as a reason you came back," Stella smiles stepping out of his embrace.

"You want to go to dinner? I'm getting kind of hungry," Mac asks as Hawkes enters.

"I have the results. Flack is bringing in the guy now," Hawkes says before noticing Mac. "What are you doing back?"

"I guess I belong in New York. We'll discuss it tomorrow at dinner. Tell Flack, Lindsay, and Danny for me," he says as Stella grabs her jacket and purse.

"Hey, where are you going?" Hawkes asks Stella as she and Mac leave her office.

"I've got a date. I think you can handle it," Stella calls over her shoulder as Mac puts his arm around her waist.

"_But you were wrong  
Love was what I wanted all along"_

**A/N: Rascal Flatts "Then I Did". I'll try to get another chapter up tomorrow. Thank you for reading. **__


	4. Some People

**Chapter 4: Some People**

"_Isn't it a gamble  
Layin' your heart out on the floor  
Nothin' short of a miracle  
When you find the one you're looking for  
It's another kind of trouble trying to hang on to who you are  
When all you wanna do is lose yourself in someone else's arms  
Isn't it a wonder that we got this far"_

"You know, we can't tell anyone at the lab about us."

"Why?"

"Well first they would all say told you so and joke about it. Second I would be fired because it is against protocol for us to have a relationship."

"The first you're probably right about, but why do you think you would be fired over me?"

"Come on, Mac, you've seen all the marks on my record."

"Oh," Mac pauses, "but we are lucky to have each other."

"Yes. If anything happens, our friendship is gone."

"Well, we will just have to be careful. Thank you, Stella," Mac says leaning in to kiss her forehead.

"For what?"

"Being a great friend through everything and more."

"In that case, Detective Taylor, thank you for letting me be a friend," she kisses him softly, still afraid that he is not ready for a relationship.

"_Some people aren't lucky like us  
Some people they just give up  
When the hard times fall  
The thrill of it all is gone  
Leaves you in a cloud of dust  
It's sad to think that some won't find it  
And others won't recognize it even when it comes  
We're all at the mercy of the will of love  
Some people yeah  
Some people aren't lucky like us"_

Stella sits on the couch while Mac cleans up the kitchen after dinner. Stella is daydreaming when Mac comes in and sits down next to her. "So, what do you what to talk about?"

"Huh? I don't know," Stella replies.

Mac thinks for a while. "What were you like as a kid?"

"Um, well, I never really had any friends except the one girl at the orphanage, but she left after a while. I was always the first one to answer science and math questions. And always asking questions trying to find out more about my background," Stella answers, shocked to find herself telling Mac what she has kept hidden for so long.

"Your friend was adopted then?"

"Yeah, and I later found out she was being abused. They told me she had gone to a better place," Stella feels sad, now knowing what that means. "What were you like?"

Mac tells her some of his memories as a kid and tries to turn the conversation back to her, because he is very interested in what she is hiding from everyone.

"Why do you keep asking all of these questions, Mac?" Stella asks quietly. Mac was now making her feel uncomfortable, but he doesn't realize it.

"_Two lonely souls that just stumbled into fate  
Look how much we've been given babe  
In spite of all of our mistakes  
And I will never forget I've been blessed with the gift of lovin' you  
And when the going ain't easy babe  
A little faith will pull us through  
Thank God we have each other we can hang onto"_

"Something wrong, Stel?" Mac asks as she moves away from him.

"I don't want to talk about it, Mac. It has nothing to do with us. Why do you even care about my childhood? I grew up in an orphanage and that is all you need to know," she yells as he tries to hug her.

"I love you, Stella. And you are always telling me to open up. You don't tell me much about yourself and I guess it seems that you're ashamed or embarrassed or you're hiding something, Stel," Mac gives on trying to physically comfort her.

"You don't know what I grew up with, Mac. You don't know what it feels like to have no family. Face it, Mac, you don't know much about me and probably will never find out," Stella storms out the door.

Mac knows better than to follow her. It would just upset her more, so he just stands there watching her leave.

Stella has tears running down her cheeks as she walks to her apartment. _'How could he do this to me,' _she thinks. When she gets home, she takes a cold shower as she normally does when she gets upset about something.

"_To have someone you can laugh with  
Someone you can cry with  
Tell all your secrets to  
To have someone who won't judge you  
Someone who just loves you  
No matter what, they stand beside you"_

Mac and Stella do not talk to each other for the next week unless it is about work. Danny and Lindsay are sure something happened as they had become very friendly towards each other lately until now, but they were afraid to ask for fear of getting their head ripped off.

Mac felt like his whole world was lost without Stella with him. He wanted to apologize for upsetting her, but was afraid he would just hurt her more if he talked to her. He had seen what she had done to Frankie after what he had done to her (not that you could blame her). Stella, he also knew, would not apologize, so it was up to him to make peace between them, even if it meant just being friends.

Stella had cried almost every night over Mac; she had lost her best friend, the only true friend she has had in her life. Mac had taken it too far. It was true: Mac had opened up a lot to her over the past three years and she hadn't given him anything in return. Her childhood was something that she didn't want anyone to know about. Maybe someday she would tell her best friend, but not know. Stella was too stubborn to apologize: _'It's his fault we're not together.'_

Both knew that they couldn't be partners and friends like this.

"_Some people aren't lucky like us  
Some people they just give up  
When the hard times fall  
The thrill of it all is gone  
Leaves you in a cloud of dust  
It's sad to think that some won't find it  
And others won't recognize it even when it comes  
We're all at the mercy of the will of love  
Some people yeah  
Some people aren't lucky like us"_

**A/N: "Some People" by LeAnn Rimes. Yeah, I don't know what happens with Stella and Frankie, but I think he tries to kill her and she ends up killing him, which he deserves after what was on that website. I hope her and Mac get together. You can tell there is something between them and also between Danny and Lindsay. Please review. I'll be kind of busy tomorrow, but I'll try to get another chapter up soon.**


	5. Let's Be Us Again

**Chapter 5: Let's Be Us Again**

"_Tell me what I have to do tonight  
'Cause I'd do anything to make it right  
Let's be us again  
I'm sorry for the way I lost my head  
I don't know why I said the things I said  
Let's be us again_

_Here I stand  
With everything to lose  
And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end  
Baby please, I'm reaching out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in  
Let's be us again  
Oh us again"_

"So, Mac, what's with you and Stella? You guys looked so happy together for a while and now you're barely talking to each other," Danny asks as Mac drives them to a crime scene to process.

"What goes on between Stella and I is none of your business, Danny. Drop it because I'm not going to talk about it," Mac says. Danny hoped Lindsay was having better luck with Stella.

**---CSI: NY---**

"Hey, Stella," Lindsay calls across the table.

"You have something?"

"No, I'm still working on it. Are you and Mac going out? Danny and I saw you together a couple of weeks ago in his office," Lindsay says softly, not wanting the lab techs to hear their conversation.

"Oh, I hate these glass walls. And no, we are no longer going together," Stella replies, trusting Lindsay not to tell everyone.

"Did you guys have a fight?"

"Yes, we fight about the stupidest things."

"What was it this time?"

"Well, I'm always begging Mac to loosen up and talk, but he has apparently realized that I don't follow my own advice. He asked me about my childhood and that's something I prefer not to talk about."

"Oh, too bad. I hope you get back together. You are perfect for each other. And you know what else? Danny said it would be hard to talk to you, but it was actually very easy," Lindsay says with a smile, then realizes what she said.

Stella chooses to ignore the fact that Danny and Lindsay are trying to get them back together.

"_Look at me, I'm way past pride  
Isn't there some way that we can try  
To be us again  
Even if it takes a while  
I'll wait right here until I see that smile  
That says we're us again_

Here I stand  
With everything to lose  
And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end  
Baby please, I'm reaching out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in  
Let's be us"

Mac and Stella are the only ones lab; the day shift had left and everyone on night shift was out. Stella was researching something for a case in her office while Mac did paperwork in his; neither of them could concentrate. Mac decided that he had better apologize and get it over with now without everyone watching them; he couldn't take not being with her any longer. As he walks to her office he thinks about how to say it without making her leave again. Because the walk to her office was so short, he had to stand outside her door for a while.

Getting the feeling someone was watching her, Stella looks up. She scowls at Mac when she sees him but motions him into her office. They sit looking at each other silently for a while, not even communicating with their eyes, until Mac works out what he is going to say in his head.

"_Baby baby what would I do  
I can't imagine life without you_

Here I stand  
With everything to lose  
And all I know is I don't want to ever see the end  
Baby please, I'm reaching out for you  
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in"

"Stella, I'm sorry I asked you about your childhood. I know that you haven't told anyone about it. I do hope that you eventually, when you are ready, tell me."

"It's okay, Mac. You didn't know," Stella says softly.

"Yes, but I kept asking you," Mac says looking into green eyes, hoping they forgive him.

"I'm sorry too, Mac. I got all upset and you didn't know how I felt about telling you. And it is not fair that I can get you to open up, but I don't tell you anything in return."

"Life isn't always fair, Stella," Mac says, a smile creeping into his face now that she has forgiven him. He stands up and she does the same. Mac walks around the desk and hugs her tight.

"Thank you for understanding, Mac," Stella whispers in his ear. He pulls back slightly to see the smile on her face that he thought he would never see again.

"Are you hungry? I haven't eaten since last week," Mac asks and she nods.

"Oh, we better call Danny and Lindsay to tell them we're back together. They were worried about us. And Lindsay thinks we are perfect for each other."

"Does she really?" Mac asks as he pulls Stella close to him as they walk to the car.

"_Oh, here I am  
I'm reaching out for you  
So won't you open up your heart and let me come back in  
Let's be us again_

Oh let's be us again"

**A/N: Lonestar's "Let's Be Us Again" I tried to get this up sooner but I couldn't log in for some reason. The ending of "All Access" should have had more Mac and Stella, but maybe there will be some in the nest three episodes. I kind of understand why they wouldn't have done more 'cause I'm sure Stella's still getting over Frankie. Please review.**


	6. What Do You Say?

**Chapter 6: What Do You Say?**

"_Stuck at a red light outside an adult bookstore_

_His son said Daddy what are all those X's for_

_As the light turned green he changed the subject fast_

_Started talking about football as they drove right past_

_So what do you say in a moment like this_

_When you can't find the words to tell it like it is_

_Just bite your tongue and let your heart lead the way_

_Let's get out of here_

_Oh what do you say"_

Stella and Mac stand outside what looks like a peaceful house, but they have reason to believe a suspect is hiding inside. They position themselves to enter, and Mac busts down the door. Stella goes down a hallway as the others head in. As she enters a bedroom she sees two closets: one next to her and one across the room. When she has her back turned, the suspect comes out of a closet with a knife in hand. He pins Stella's arms against her sides, knocking her gun out of her hands, and holds the knife to her throat. She screams, receiving a "Shut up before I kill you," from the guy, and everyone hears and comes rushing to her aid. Mac is first into the room. He would have shot the guy then and there if Stella wasn't in between them.

"I'll make a deal with you. I'll give you your partner back if you all leave and wait five minutes before coming back to get her. When I come out, no one better shoot me or follow me. Is that clear?" Stella keeps her eyes on Mac the whole time, knowing he'll give in. "If not, I will kill her," he moves the knife up to Stella's throat and her eyes are pleading with Mac to save her. He desperately wants to have Stella in his arms, safe and sound, but he can't look away from her pleads. "Which will it be, Detective?" Mac wants to say something to comfort her, but he can't find his voice. He doesn't even talk when he leaves the room, motioning for everyone to follow. When he is sure everyone is out of the house, the suspect kicks Stella's gun out of his way. "So you can't shoot me when you fall," he whispers in her ear. "Your police friends are letting me walk, and I am going to kill you too and get away with it."

Mac eventually is able to tell Flack to hide around the corner of the house while everyone else leaves. "When he comes out, you shoot him, and I'll go get Stella. We can't let him hurt her and get away with it."

"Didn't he say he wasn't going to harm her if we left? If I shoot him, he won't have a chance to go back in and hurt her, Mac."

"Yes, but there is no way he could hold her there and not harm her. He has attacked three other women."

"_Seventeen years old_

_She was out with her friends_

_They started drinking at some party_

_Till she was three sheets to the wind_

_Her momma always told her she could call no matter what_

_She was crying on the front steps_

_When her mom showed up_

_So what do you say in a moment like this_

_When you can't find the words to tell it like it is_

_Just bite your tongue and let your heart lead the way_

_Let's get out of here_

_Oh what do you say"_

Mac found Stella in the bedroom where he left her; from what he could tell she had a cut on her neck from having the knife pressed against it and her shoulders and arms were cut pretty badly. _'Stella is still breathing, thank god,'_ Mac thinks. Again he is unable to come up with something to say to her so he just summons rescue and carries her outside. By carrying her outside, Mac has just risked contaminating evidence on her, but they already had enough to convict him. Stella, conscious throughout the whole thing, was surprised when Mac didn't say anything to her. She couldn't think of anything to say to him either, so they silently wait for the ambulance. Mac gets most of the bleeding on her arms and shoulders under control so she doesn't lose too much blood.

Finally Mac decides to break the awkward silence between them. "Are you okay? I'm sorry I left you in there with him, but I was afraid he would kill you if we didn't. If we left, there was still a chance you would be alive. I was willing to take that chance and I hope you don't mind," he pauses and she cuts in.

"No, I'm fine, Mac. It's okay. Flack got the guy, didn't he?"

"Yeah, I guess you'll be doing paperwork for a while then."

"Damn, now I wish you hadn't left me in there," Stella tries to look angry, but ends up laughing.

"What did he do to you after we left?"

"Um, he moved my gun away so I couldn't shoot him and then said he was going to kill me and get away with it. He took the knife from my throat and made that long cut on my upper arm. I fought, trying to get away, but I guess I just caused myself more injury. When he was satisfied that I was going to die from loss of blood, he left and I guess you know the rest," Stella says as an ambulance arrives.

"_Sometimes you gotta listen to the silence_

_And give yourself a little time to think_

_Her every breath is weaker than the last_

_And lately when she sleeps she talks about the past_

_Her husband knows she's tired of holding on_

_She looks at him and says I wanna go home_

_What do you say in a moment like this_

_When you can't find the words to tell it like it is_

_Just close your eyes and let your heart lead the way_

_Oh what do you say"_

Stella got to come home from the hospital later that day. She had to get a few stitches where the cuts got deep. She and Mac lay in the bed talking before going to sleep. "You know how I told you that I was kind of quiet, shy I guess you could say, at school as a kid?"

"There was a time when you where quiet?" Mac says and she punches him in the chest, "Ow."

"Yes, well I wasn't like that back at the orphanage. The opposite actually. I still didn't have any "friends" though. Every friend I made left when they found out I was an orphan. This one girl actually made fun of me because of it, and everyone else learned to leave me alone when they saw her. I had broken her arm and given her a black eye among other injuries. And I got in big trouble with Sister Noelle," she pauses and Mac is, for a third time that day, at a loss for words. He puts his arm around her, knowing how hard it is to talk about something you've kept hidden for so long. To his surprise, she continues with another memory.

"There was one book I was always reading. It was about European cultures. I read the parts on Italian and Greek cultures too many times to count. That book was the only information I read about my background until I left the orphanage. Actually, I still have it somewhere. Anyway, now I use the internet. That was the only thing I found interesting about history." Mac rolls over to kiss her.

"I also got a fear of spiders in the orphanage when I woke up with a few in bed with me," Stella glances over at Mac. He had an anxious look in his eyes, and she knew he was glad she had opened up and couldn't wait to here this story. Mac didn't know she hated spiders.

"After I beat up that girl who made fun of me, all of the other kids at the orphanage considered me to be a sort of hero for them for sticking up for us; everyone made fun of orphans at school so… yeah, you get the point. Well, two of the boys decided to test how brave I really was and put spiders in my bed. I got in and everyone tried to hide their laughter. I kept asking what was so funny but no one answered me; apparently word had gotten around about what they did but I guess none of the sisters found out. I eventually gave up and went to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night because I felt something moving on my arm. I pulled it out from under the cover but there was nothing on it. Then I felt something by my foot so I pulled the comforter back and saw a spider on my leg, one on my stomach, and three on the sheet next to me. I jumped out of the bed and started screaming. Two of the sisters came rushing in to see what was wrong. By that time everyone else had woken up and the two boys were laughing at me. Sister Noelle punished them and had to keep me away from them for the next month so I wouldn't beat them up. Ever since then I've hated spiders."

Mac thinks over everything she had revealed about herself, "It must have taken a lot of strength to tell me what you did."

"Well, you're the one who asked," she rolls over on top of him and kisses his forehead.

"Thank you, Stella," he whispers before pulling her down to kiss her lips.

Stella did not feel embarrassed of telling him any of this. She is glad she now has someone that she trusts enough to tell this to.

"_Just bite your tongue and let your heart lead the way_

_Let's get out of here_

_Oh what do you say"_

**A/N: Another Reba song "What Do You Say?" Thanks for reading. Please review. I'll try to get the last chapter up as soon as I can.**


	7. Just Might Make Me Believe

**Chapter 7: Just Might (Make Me Believe)**

"_I got miles of trouble spreadin' far and wide  
Bills on the table gettin' higher and higher  
They just keep on comin', there ain't no end in sight  
I'm just holding on tight...  
I've got someone who loves me more then words can say  
And I'm thankful for that each and every day  
And if I count all my blessings, I get a smile on my face  
Still it's hard to find faith..."_

_  
_"Mac, why are we going and ruining our friendship?" Stella asks as they eat dinner one night. Mac had insisted upon taking her out to a fancy restaurant.

"What do you mean? We're not ruining our friendship, we're just becoming more than friends," Mac says as he finishes his meal.

"How do you know that we won't end up having a huge fight and not making up? If something happens, Mac, I already know I couldn't live without my best friend; our last fight showed me that," she says gazing into his eyes looking for an answer.

"We won't mess this up, Stel," both of their pagers go off.

"Looks like we have a case. We'll discuss this in the car," she says as Mac motions for the bill.

'_Now my plans are down the drain,'_ Mac thinks as he helps Stella with her jacket. Little did Stella know that Mac was planning on proposing to her that night.

"_But if you can look in my eyes  
And tell me we'll be alright  
If you promise never to leave_

_You just might make me believe"_

"Stel, have faith in me. I won't hurt you," Mac says as she glares at him.

"What is your definition of faith?" she asks with a smirk.

"Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to," Mac puts his eyes back on the road as they drive to the crime scene.

"I do have faith in you, Mac. It's just, I'll screw this. I mean, look at what I did to Frankie," she says quietly.

"Stel, he threatened to kill you and after what was on that website he deserves to be dead," Mac pauses to see if she would argue with him again. When she doesn't reply, he continues, "Stella, we will make it through everything thrown at us. Just look at how much we've already been through as friends. I will never leave you, Stel," he finishes as he reaches over to tuck a curl behind her ear.

"I love you, Mac," and she leans over to kiss him when they stop at a red light.

"_It's just day to day tryin' to make ends meet  
What I'd give for an address out on easy street  
I need a deep margarita to help me unwind  
Leave my troubles behind..."_

"You want to go out to dinner to make up for last night?" Mac asks as they walk out of the lab together.

"Not really, why?"

"Well, we didn't get to finish last night and I had something planned," he says with a small smile.

"Mac Taylor had plans? When are you going to tell me these plans?" she asks with a mischievous smile.

"Are you sure you don't want dinner?" Mac asks again.

"No, right now I just want to go home and take a bath."

"Okay, I'll order pizza while you take a bath. Then I'll do what I was going to last night."

**---CSI: NY---**

By the time Stella finishes her bath the pizza has arrived. Mac has already started eating.

"Somebody was awfully hungry. He couldn't even wait for me to finish," she says when she opens the box to grab a piece.

"Sorry, but I was starving. Let's see what's on tv tonight," he says reaching for the remote. Stella grabs it first, "Not until you tell me."

"After we finish eating. Give me the remote," he reaches out to grab it from her hand but she throws a pillow at him.

Not being very hungry she finishes eating before he does. She tries to wait patiently for him to finish. "Hurry up, Mac. I can't take the suspense."

Finally Mac finishes. "Stel, you clean up."

"The trash can wait, I can't," she says receiving a you-better-do-as-I-say look from him. "Fine."

"And take as long as you can," he calls after her.

As Mac pulls a small, velvet box out of his coat pocket, Stella calls from the kitchen, "You want a glass of water, Mac?"

"Sure. What's taking you so long?" he teases.

"Hey, you told me to take as long as I could," Mac puts the box on the table in front of where she was sitting.

"_I used to believe in us  
When times got tough  
Lately I'm afraid that even love is not enough"_

When Stella comes back in Mac didn't looked like he had moved at all. She didn't even notice the box until he pointed it out to her when she asked him for the millionth time what his plans were. She picks it up, "Open it, Stel."

Inside Stella found a diamond ring. He takes it out and puts it on her finger. "What is this for, Mac?" Mac gets off the couch and pulls her up. He leads her outside on the balcony and gets down on one knee._  
_

"Stella," he begins still holding her hand, "will you marry me?"

Stella has a horrified look on her face. Mac starts to get worried when she doesn't answer. "Does that look mean yes or no?" Mac's heart was sinking: he had thought about doing this for a long time and he thought she felt the same way he did. Maybe he had been wrong.

She crouched down so their eyes were on the same level and kissed him long and slow. "What do you think?" she asks when they part.

"I'll take that as a yes," he says kissing her again.

"Mac, can we go back inside? It's kind of cold out here," she stands and he follows suit and wraps his arms around her waist.

"Sure. What do you think about having kids?-"

"Mac-"

"I mean if you don't want to we can adopt if you want kids at all-"

"Mac-"

"It's okay with me even if you don't want kids at all, Stella-"

"Mac, shut up. We just got engaged," Stella says when he finally shuts his mouth. "I would like to have kids someday."

"Good, so do I," he sits on the couch and she climbs in his lap. Her head is leaning against his shoulder, his arms still wrapped around her waist.

"Do you believe in us?" Mac asks after they sat silently for a few moments.

"Yes, of course I do. I agreed to be your wife, didn't I?" she answers as he stands up and carries her to the bedroom.

"_But if you can look in my eyes  
And tell me we'll be alright  
If you promise never to leave _

_You just might make me  
Oh, you just might make me  
You just might make me believe"_

**A/N: "Just Might (Make Me Believe)" by Sugarland. This is the end. Sorry it took me so long to get it up. Thank you to everyone who read my story. Tell me how you liked it.**


End file.
